Life and Simplicity

My skin crumbles, tears, and falls away on touch.

The dance between the mind and the soul. The former understood, the latter translated.

My dear nothing, I beg you to torch my skin and leave me only with my unfiltered, untempered soul. I want to witness my own physical cage dissipate into nothing.

I wish for connection to my own humanity.

At the core of my "I" is a simple thing that wishes for community, safety, and love.

Balancing the precarious precipice of our social fabric.

It feels almost as if I am a prisoner of my own vision and understanding. That what I have seen disqualifies me from human connection.

But the reality is I am terrified of human connection, and I am lying to myself that I see myself clearly.

The core of our humanity requires simple pleasures to sustain itself: physical safety, emotional safety, and community.

To wish to bypass our own humanity through dissolution is cowardice. It is to reject the scale of authentic being.

This is not to discredit my explorations so far. Rather, it is to acknowledge that at our core are simple, universal needs that should be met.

It is the balance of the most delicate scale - the embodied human and the yearning mystic.

Give and take, push and pull; to keep both scales level enables human flourishing.

I have come to understand human progression as tension that ultimately collapses inwards.

Nourishment and exile.

Embodied living and disembodied yearning.

Implosion.

Madness!

I walk each day feeling the weight of this world on my essence. I wish for nothing more than to scream into this empty world to force it to resolve these contradictions.

Yet all my attempts have met pure, deafening silence.

To be human is to suffocate under eternal contradictions.

Vertigo.

I may only describe this cosmic loneliness as a lost soul waiting for divine love that may never arrive.

Nauseating? Yes.

Yet I must continue to love anyways.

I believe that contradictions are the constitution of reality.